I'm Handsome, No Ands, Buts Or Ifs.

Please Call Your Second Witness, And Then Call Your Mother, She Worries.

I Was A Bookworm. Every Week I'd Go To The Library And Get Seven Books. Remember Libraries? I Wonder If People Still Go. And I Learned About Everything From The Library. I Came From A Scottish Family. Old School.

My Mother On Her Death Bed Told Me, 'where The Hell Did That Kangaroo Come From!?' - It Just Popped Out Of Nowhere And Punched Her In The Head And Caused A Cerebral Hemorrhage, So I Thought I'd Move To A Country Where There Were No Kangaroos!

After A Disappointing Summer, Humpty Dumpty Has A Great Fall.

Many People Think It's In Bad Taste To Advertise For An Insane Asylum... But Come On Down. We're Going Crazy.