I'm From Such An Old Family, It's

Never Refer To Your Wedding Night As The Original Amateur Hour.

I'm The Only Woman Who Can Walk In Central Park At Night... And Reduce The Crime Rate.

This Woman Was So Cross-eyed. She Can Go To A Tennis Match And Never Move Her Head.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.

I'm The Woman Who Used To Think That Middle-age Spread Was A Cocktail Dip.