I'm From Such An Old Family, It's

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!

The Only Parts Left Of My Original Body Are My Elbows.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

It Would Seem That Something Which Means Poverty, Disorder And Violence Every Single Day Should Be Avoided Entirely, But The Desire To Beget Children Is A Natural Urge.