I'm From Such An Old Family, It's

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My Husband Always Felt That A Marriage And Career Don't Mix. That's Why He's Never Worked.

Like All Good Ruins, I Look Better By Moonlight.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.