I'm Bald, Blind And Pale. I'm Like

I Lived Across From A Catholic Church For 15 Years That I Never Went Into. And Then I Got Married To My Wife And - You Know, And Now We're Going In There Every Other Day Baptizing A Kid.

After You Eat A Hot Pocket, Everything Will Taste Like Rubber For A Month!

Deep Frying A Twinkie Makes It Healthy, Right?

I Like To Think Of Bread As Really Bland Cake.

I Think The Worst Professional Advice I Received Was This Kind Of Unspoken Message Of "sit Back And Wait Your Turn," Or "sit Back And Wait And Let Other People Do Things."