After You Eat A Hot Pocket, Everything

You Can Never Find The Right Bowling Ball. This One's Too Heavy. This One's Good But Its Pink!

You Ever Talk About A Movie With Someone That Read The Book? They're Always So Condescending. 'ah, The Book Was Much Better Than The Movie.' Oh Really? What I Enjoyed About The Movie: No Reading.

Don't You Expect A Rainbow Coming Out Of The Tub Of Bacon Strips At The End Of The Buffet Line?

Kale Is A Superfood And It’s Special Power Is Tasting Bad.

I Don't Think Comedians Make An Active Decision To Be A Certain "persona." Comedians Write The Way They're Going To Write.