After You Eat A Hot Pocket, Everything

Gyms Are Always Packed. The Only Machine Available Is The One That Simulates The Gynecological Exam. You Know, The Sharon Stone Machine.

We Are All A Little Weird. And We Like To Think That There Is Always Someone Weirder. I Mean, I Am Sure Some Of You Are Looking At Me And Thinking, “well, At Least I Am Not As Weird As You,” And I Am Thinking, “well, At Least I Am Not As Weird As The People In The Loony Bin,” And The People In The Loony Bin Are Thinking, “well, At Least I Am An Orange”.

The Idea Of Having A Large Family, I Definitely Had A Romantic Notion Of It.

I Believe That Comedians Do What They Do, And Then They Get Credit Or Criticism For Doing It. There's Nothing Planned About This.

I've Been Doing Theaters Like The Warner For About A Year And We've Found The Earlier You Get The Tickets On Sale The Better Idea You Get On How Many Shows We Will Be Doing.