I'm Always Excited To Try Something I

The Pursuit Of Happiness: It Sure Seems To Like A Good Chase, Doesn't It?

I Travel Alone So Much, And The First Thought Is To Grab The Damn Phone. In Airports, Just Look Around. Nobody Looks At Anybody, Or Even Out The Window. It's Obvious We Can't Live Without It Anymore, And As A Comic On The Road The Phone Is An Essential Tool. It's Probably Doing More Good Than Bad For Me, But It Does Make Me Sad That Those Of Us Who Grew Up Without Mobile Phones, We Know What We're Missing.

Never Forget Where You Came From. That's What I Think When I Walk Into A Cave.

When I Was In High School I Experimented Sexually. The Experiment Was To Never Have Sex With Anybody No Matter How Hard I Tried. Success! Hypothesis Confirmed.

Whenever I'm On My Computer, I Don't Type 'lol'. I Type 'lqtm' - Laugh Quietly To Myself. It's More Honest.