A Mobile Home With A Flat Tire

When I Am Holding A Water Balloon, So Many Things Look So Unnecessarily Dry.

Sometimes Heckling Can Almost Help A Set, Because It Ratchets Up The Tension In The Room... Can Even Bring Things To A Climax.

I Don't Think I Ever Wrote A Song. I Can Write A Lot Of Jokes, But When I Try To Write Lyrics They're The Most Direct, Non-figurative Words, Like, 'i Like You, I Like You,'... And That's It, For The Whole Song. People Would Go, 'ooh, This Guy's Dylan Or Something.' It Gives Me A Lot More Respect For Songwriters, Actually.

Dogs Seem More Photogenic Than Cats. In Photos Most Cats Look Like Sociopaths.

If Only Loud People Were Even Half As Interesting As They Think They Are.