The Worst Time To Have A Heart

I Ordered A Wake-up Call The Other Day. The Phone Rang And A Woman's Voice Said, 'what The Hell Are You Doing With Your Life?'

Someday I Will Tell My Grandchildren That I Lived In The Era When Ok Was Abbreviated To K.

A Lifevest Protects You From Drowning And A Bulletproof Vest Protects You From Getting Shot, And A Sweater Vest Protects You From Pretty Girls.

They Say It's Lonely At The Top. It Must Be Even Lonelier At The Tippy Top.

Earrings Are The Same As Sneezes: Two Is Okay, But Ten In A Row Is Annoying. If You Have Two Then, God Bless You.