I'm A Professional Actor. If I Was

I've Always Been Part Of Comedy. One Of The Things About Our Family Was That If We Were Reasonably Funny With Each Other, Particularly My Two Brothers And Myself, When My Father Was Upset With Something You'd Want To Make Sure In Some Way You Made Him Laugh. Because When He Didn't Laugh, You Were In Trouble!

The Reason They Call If 'golf' Is That All The Other 4 Letter Words Were Used Up.

I Used To Have This Dream That Somebody Was Knocking At My Door. I'd Say 'who Is It?' And They'd Answer 'police.' I'd Open The Door And They Would Say To Me, 'pack Your Bags. We Realized You Have No Talent.

Those Who The Gods Seek To Destroy First, Learn How To Play Golf.

I Played A Lot Of Leaders, Autocratic Sorts; Perhaps It Was My Canadian Accent.