I'm A Doofus From The Valley, A

My Mom Was On Welfare And The Occasional Food Stamp, But I Have Never Participated In Any Of Those Governmental Programs, Even The Ones That Kind Of Work Like Education, Scholarships And Whatever, And I Managed To Do Just Fine.

That's An Interesting Philosophical Question. When Your Boner Goes Away, Is That One Gone... Forever?

I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms. Fake And None.

I'd Be At Someone's House Or Be Up On The Roof All Day And I'd Get Lonely - Stir Crazy - And Talk Radio Became This Soothing Voice In My Life. But The Idea That I Was Making $10 An Hour And Stacking Drywall While These Guys Were Making A Few Hundred Thousand, And They Were Having A Party, And There Were Playmates And There Were Good Times, I Just Couldn't Imagine It.

When You Have Kids, You Instantly Feel That You Do Not Want To Do Them Wrong. Those Dads That Go Off To Florida And Start A New Life, I Couldn’t Imagine That: Seeing My Kid Once Every Christmas, Every Three Years. If I’m Gone For Six Days It Feels Like Too Much.