My Mom Was On Welfare And The

Millions Of Guys Play Millions Of Basketball Games Every Day Of The Week At The Playground Or The Ymca. But Lebron James Gets $20 Million A Year Because He Can Jam On All Of Those Guys. We're Always Going To Want To See Lebron And Kobe Go At It.

The Shuttle Is The Worst $20 You'll Ever Save. It Adds 90 Minutes To Whatever A Town Car Or Cab Would Have Been. You Have The Unenviable Choice Between Being Dropped Off Last Or Being Dropped Off First And Having A Bunch Of Losers Who Can't Afford Cab Fare And Have No Friends Or Loved Ones With Cars Knowing Exactly Where You Live.

It's Like The Fouth Of July In My Underpants.

When You Have Kids, You Instantly Feel That You Do Not Want To Do Them Wrong. Those Dads That Go Off To Florida And Start A New Life, I Couldn’t Imagine That: Seeing My Kid Once Every Christmas, Every Three Years. If I’m Gone For Six Days It Feels Like Too Much.

There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well, I Take That Back. I'm A Cancer Screening Away From Going Agnostic And A Biopsy Away From Full-fledged Christian.