I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.

I Want To Work For Myself, And I Do Work For Myself. I Make Plenty Of Money Working For Myself.

[giving Welfare To Poor People] Is The Equivalent Of The Government Sending [fat People] A Jumbo Bag Of Bugles In The Mail Twice A Month.

When You Have Kids, You Instantly Feel That You Do Not Want To Do Them Wrong. Those Dads That Go Off To Florida And Start A New Life, I Couldn’t Imagine That: Seeing My Kid Once Every Christmas, Every Three Years. If I’m Gone For Six Days It Feels Like Too Much.

Welfare Is Monetary Methadone.