I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms.

When I Fart My Ass Makes A Trumpet Sound That Heralds The Arrival Of The Smell.

You Should Feel Good About Yourself Because Of Your Accomplishments. Not Because Somebody Yelled At You To Feel Good About Yourself.

Honestly, I've Always Had Difficulty Relaxing, Unwinding And Going To Bed - That Kind Of Stuff.

I'm Really Just Trying To Hash Out The Next Two Weeks Of My Life. So, Something That Is Potentially Four Months Down The Road Is Not Just A Mile Down The Road For Me, It's A Million Miles Down The Road.

I'm A Doofus From The Valley, A Blue-collar Guy.