If You're A Man And You Have

It's Your Living Room, It's Your Life, Go Nuts. You Like Home Improvement? Tape It And Go Over It Like It's The Zapruder Film.

Laughter Is One Of The Great Beacons In Life Because We Don't Refract It By Gunning It Through Our Intellectual Prism. What Makes Us Laugh Is A Mystery - An Involuntary Response.

Look, We're Americans: Optimistic, Addicted To The Quick Fix, Constantly On The Hunt For The New And Exotic. It's Much Easier For Us To Accept A Guy With A Big White Beard Hawking His Own Custom Blend Of Saw Palmetto And Squirrel Dandruff That It Is To Hear A Real Doctor Telling Us To Lay Off The Big Macs, And Get Off Our Fat Asses And Take A Walk Every Decade Or So.

Nervous? He's Tighter Than Pat Buchanan's Sphincter Muscle At A 4th Of July Soiree On Fire Island.

I Had Fun Pretending To Be A Sportscaster. People Always Think That Was A Down Thing For Me. I Had The Best Job In Sports Broadcasting For Two Years.