I Had Fun Pretending To Be A

The American Auto Industry Is Blowing Up Like A 1976 Ford Pinto.

I'm Sorry, Those Pictures From The Abu Ghraib. At First, They, Like Infuriated Me, I Was Sad. Then Like, A Couple Days Later, After They Cut The Guy's Head Off, They Didn't Seem Like Much. And Now, I Like To Trade Them With My Friends.

Joan Rivers Telling Lauren Bacall Her Dress Is All Wrong Is Like Carrot Top Telling Lenny Bruce He Needs To Get An Edge.

By And Large, I Think It Should Be A Rule In The Teacher Employment Manual That You Can't Go Attend Any Event Where If You Took Your Classroom On A Student Field Trip, They Would Summarily Be Obliterated. That Should Be Rule No. 1.

I Haven't Seen Someone So Overmatched Since Mike Tyson Tried To Recite The Alphabet.