If Your Shirt Isn't Tucked Into Your

People Keep Referring To Me As A Standup, And That Just Doesn't Sit Well With Me Because A Lot Of My Friends Are Standups And They're Brilliant At Writing Jokes, And I'm Not.

"i Don't Ever Want To Try To Be A 'cute Guy.' I Want To Be Charles Laughton, Or Oliver Reed, Or Lon Cheney. That's Way More Fun For Me." And Once I Flipped That Switch, That's Another Thing I've Taken Off My Shoulders, Where I Never Have To Worry About, "do I Look Good?"

Don't Use Barbiturates Before Going On Stage. And Be Honest.

It's Taken Me A Lot Of Years To Peel Away My Own Layers.

Shut Your Damn Mouth.