If You Want To Be Happy In

We're Cognizant, Curious Beings, Capable Of Philosophical Thought, Nuclear Physics, Repeating Nerf Weapons, Global Consciousness, Glade Air Fresheners, And Sentient Automobiles. But We're Assholes First.

When I Arrive In Los Angeles In The Entertainment Community, And I Use Implements Like A Shovel And A Hammer, Our Society Has Distanced Itself So Far From Working With Its Hands That Those Incredibly Pedestrian Skills Are Perceived As Somehow Being Extraordinary.

The World Is Split Into Two Halves: The Bacon, And The Bacon Eaters.

I Was Drinking A Lot Of Bourbon. I Was Miserable. I Was Starting To Get Work, But It Wasn't Remotely Satisfying. It Was Garbage Compared To The Theater I Was Doing.

I'm A Very Intermediate Sax Player, But Now That Rob Lowe Is On My Show, I Had To Cop To Him. Like, 'dude Your Ridiculous Fake Sax Playing [in St. Elmo's Fire] Inspired Me To Pick Up A Horn.'