If You Stop And Think About It,

I Made It, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I Didn't Have To Practice.

My Father Helped Me Leave. He Said, 'it's All Out There, It's Not Here.'

You Do Live Longer With Bran, But You Spend The Last Fifteen Years On The Toilet.

Larry David Finds A Way To Make Jokes About The Holocaust. It Would Never Have Occurred To Me. And It Was Funny.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.