If You Love Your Job, You Haven't

Sometimes, You Get Too Hopped Up, Too Excited, And It Works Against You.

The Saddest Day Of The Year Is The Day Baseball Season Ends.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

When I Was Interviewed After I Got Hired To Replace Walter Alston, A Future Hall Of Famer, I Was Asked: “don’t You Feel Pressure On You?” I Said: “want To Know Something, I’m Worried About The Guy Who’s Going To Have To Replace Me.”

When We Lose, I Eat. When We Win, I Eat. I Also Eat When We're Rained Out.