Baseball Is Played By All Countries Now,

I Walk Into The Clubhouse Today And It's Like Walking Into The Mayo Clinic. We Have Four Doctors, Three Therapists And Five Trainers. Back When I Broke In, We Had One Trainer Who Carried A Bottle Of Rubbing Alcohol, And By The 7th Inning He'd Already Drunk It.

Grownups Have To Say 'please,' Too.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

I Love Doubleheaders. That Way I Get To Keep My Uniform On Longer.

Guys Ask Me, Don't I Get Burned Out? How Can You Get Burned Out Doing Something You Love? I Ask You, Have You Ever Got Tired Of Kissing A Pretty Girl?