If You Have Ever Spray-painted Your Girlfriends

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Your License Plate Personalized Because Your Dad Made It In Prison.

I've Got Nothing Against Tattoos. I Don't Have One Myself. If I Did, It Would Be Right There Next To My Watch. It Would Say "your Wife's Birthday Is August 2nd, Your Anniversary Is September 18th, Don't Let Ron White Drive Your Car Again."

Little Girls Love Dolls. They Just Don't Love Dolls Clothes

You Might Be A Redneck If An Episode Of Walker, Texas Ranger Changed Your Life.

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'