If You Can't Tell A Spoon From

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

I Always Wanted To Do A Movie, Because I Love The Movies. They Give You A Chance To Have An Intimacy With Your Audience That Is Different From Stand Up. With Movies, You Can Bring The Audience In With A Close Up, And Emote In A Different Way.

Regarding The Marching Band: How Much More Interesting It Would Be To See A Creeping Band.

Dogs Seem More Photogenic Than Cats. In Photos Most Cats Look Like Sociopaths.

I Was Seeing This Girl And She Wanted To Get More Serious. But I Wasn't Ready To, I Had Just Gotten Out Of A Difficult Relationship Before That. So I Said To Her, 'listen, You Have To Understand Something. Relationships Are Like Eyebrows. It's Better When There's A Space Between Them.' And That's Coming From A Greek Guy.