If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

Liberals Feel Unworthy Of Their Possessions. Conservatives Feel They Deserve Everything They've Stolen.

I Went To Computer Class With My Dell And I Was Bullied By A Guy With A Mac.

If You Maintain A Consistent Political Position Long Enough, You'll Eventually Be Accused Of Treason.

My Whole Life Is A Movie. It's Just That There Are No Dissolves. I Have To Live Every Agonizing Moment Of It. My Life Needs Editing.

Bush Is The Face On The Can. But Who Canned That Soup?