You Know What I Want You To

If Anybody Comes Up To You And Says, My Kid Is A Conservative - Why Is That? You Say, Remember In The 60′s When We Told You If You Kept Using Drugs Your Kids Would Be Mutants?

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

If You Maintain A Consistent Political Position Long Enough, You'll Eventually Be Accused Of Treason.

I Took Benzedrine - I Got Clairvoyance. With Benzedrine You Can Have A Very Wide View Of The World, Like You Can Decide The Destiny Of Man And Other Pressing Problems, Such As Which Is The Left Sock?