If You Are Flammable And Have Legs,

I Get The Reese's Candy Bar. You Look At That, There's An Apostrophe-s There. That Means The Candy Bar Is His. I Didn't Know That. Next Time You're Eating A Reese's Candy Bar, And A Guy Named Reese Comes By And Says, "gimme That", You Better Hand It Over.

I Sometimes Close My Eyes During A Show Because I Have Drawn A Picture Of An Audience Enjoying The Show More On The Back Of My Eyelids.

I Like The Public Hot-tub At The Hotels. I Like When A Guy Is Already In There, I Say, "hey, Do You Mind If I Join You?" Then I Go Turn The Heat Up, And I Add Some Carrots And Onions.

I Would Imagine The Inside Of A Bottle Of Cleaning Fluid Is Really Clean. I Would Imagine A Vodka Bottle Is Really Drunk.

When You Open The Elevator On The Top Floor Of A Building And The Other Guy Doesn't Get Out, Something Is Seriously Wrong.