I Miss The $2 Bill, 'cause I

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.

Snake Eyes Is A Gambling Term, And An Animal Term, Too.

I Had A Stick Of Carefree Gum, But It Didn't Work. I Felt Pretty Good While I Was Blowing That Bubble, But As Soon As The Gum Lost Its Flavor, I Was Back To Pondering My Mortality.

I Went To A Pizzeria. The Guy Gave Me The Smallest Slice Possible. If The Pizza Was A Pie Chart With What Would You Do If You Found A Million Dollars, He Gave Me The "donate It To Charity" Slice. "i'd Like To Exchange This For The 'keep It!'"

Alcoholism Is The Only Disease That You Can Get Yelled At For Having.