If The Audience Knows You Can Be

You People Are Not Prepared. You Are Well Educated And You Look Cute, But That's Not Going To Cut It.

Every Father Says The Same Thing: “where's Your Mother?”

I'm Not Going Out And Hitting A 95-mph Fastball Where I Can't See The Stitches. I'm Not On A Professional Football Team Looking To Tackle A Fullback Who Is Built Like Solid Wood. I'm A Thinking Person, And I've Been Blessed With The Ability To See Some Things And Talk About Them In A Way That Registers In A Humorous And Funny Way.

Is The Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty? It Depends On Whether You're Pouring, Or Drinking.

The Dentist Drills Some More And You Hear Him Make A Mistake. And To Cover It Up, They All Say The Same Thing: "okay, Rinse."