My Children Love My Mother, And I

Children Today Know More About Sex Than I Or My Father Did.

The Weatherman Is Always Right. It's Just His Timing That's Off.

Did You Ever See The Customers In Health - Food Stores? They Are Pale, Skinny People Who Look Half - Dead. In A Steak House, You See Robust, Ruddy People. They're Dying, Of Course, But They Look Terrific.

Kids Need To Remember That When You Put Something On Twitter, It's Not Like Whispering To Your Friend, You've Put It On A Billboard That The Whole World, Including Your Own Kids Someday, Can See.

If You Have A Question About Anything, The Answer Can Be Found In A Book Somewhere In The Library.