If Sting Retires, Would He Have To

Many People Think It's In Bad Taste To Advertise For An Insane Asylum... But Come On Down. We're Going Crazy.

There Are So Many Things I'd Like To Change In The Industry. Everything From The Reliance Of Style Over Substance To Their Reluctance To Hire Me For Big Budget Blockbusters, But The Thing I Would Love Most Would Be If They Understood People Don't Have To Be Hollywood Beautiful To Be Sexy Or Interesting.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

Every Song A Hit, Every Hit A Smack!

Please Call Your Second Witness, And Then Call Your Mother, She Worries.