If Sex Is A Pain In The

I'm At The Age Where Food Has Taken The Place Of Sex In My Life. In Fact, I've Just Had A Mirror Put Over My Kitchen Table.

I Was An Ugly Child. I Got Lost On The Beach. I Asked A Cop If He Could Find My Parents. He Said, 'i Don't Know. There's Lots Of Places For Them To Hide'.

Getting Older Is Tough. I Remember The Last Time I Felt An Erection. It Was At The Movies. The Only Trouble Is, It Belonged To The Guy Sitting Next To Me.

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

I Bought A New Book, '100 New Ways To Make Love'. I Ended Up In Traction - It Was A Misprint.