If I Had Been Born Ugly, You

If I Had To Choose Between Dribbling Past 5 Players And Scoring From 40 Yards At Anfield Or Shagging Miss World, It'd Be A Hard Choice. Thankfully, I've Done Both

They Told Me I Wouldn't Make 25. Then It Was 35, Then 45. These Were My Doctors Speaking - They're All Dead Now.

When They First Installed All-seater Stadiums Everyone Predicted That The Fans Wouldn't Stand For It

I Was Ill, And Everyone Could See It But Me.

I Want To Be Remembered For My Football And The Pleasure I Gave People.