If I Can Be Serious Now, And

The Winner Of The Westminster Dog Show Gets To Drink Champagne - Out Of The Toilet.

You Know What I Love Best About Baseball? The Pine Tar, The Resin, The Grass, The Dirt - And That's Just In The Hot-dogs.

A Priest In New York City Was Arrested On Gun Possession. These Days, You Better Be Happy That The Bulge In His Pocket Is A .38.

I Pulled A Hamstring During The New York City Marathon. An Hour Into The Race, I Jumped Off The Couch.

They're Doing Everything They Can To Tighten Security At The White House. Today, On The Roof Of The White House, They Added One Of Those Fake Owls.