If I Can Be Serious Now, And

The Candidates At The Republican Debate Looked Like A Town Council That Was Outlawing Dancing. They Looked Like A Board Of Directors That Was Lying About Poisoning A River.

Tip To Out-of-town Visitors. If You Buy Something Here In New York And You Want To Have It Shipped Home, Be Suspicious If The Clerk Tells You They Don't Need Your Name And Address.

According To The Rand Mcnally Places-rated Almanac, The Best Place To Live In America Is The City Of Pittsburgh. The City Of New York Came In Twenty-fifth. Here In New York We Really Don't Care Too Much. Because We Know That We Could Beat Up Their City Anytime.

Humans Are The Only Animal Who Can Have Sex Over The Phone.

The Winner Of The Westminster Dog Show Gets To Drink Champagne - Out Of The Toilet.