I Haven't Reached Nirvana Yet, But I've

Did You Hear About This Genius That Got On A Plane And Set Fire To His Feet? Turns Out He Had Bombs In His Shoes And The Problem All Started When The Flight Attendants Asked Him Nicely To Extinguish His Feet. He Was Wearing Exploding Sneakers. The New Nike Air-jihads!

So They Caught Gadhafi In A Storm Sewer And Shot Him. Or As They Call It In The Middle East, An Orderly Transfer Of Power.

A Lot Of Folks Are Still Demanding More Evidence Before They Actually Consider Iraq A Threat. For Example, France Wants More Evidence. And You Know I'm Thinking, The Last Time France Wanted More Evidence They Rolled Right Through Paris With The German Flag.

You Know Kim Jong Un, The Evil Dictator Of North Korea? Apparently, A Guy In His Inner Circle Used His Ashtray While Smoking And Kim Jong Un Had Him Executed. I Remember The Same Thing Happened When A Guy Used Martha Stewart's Personal Lemon Zester.

I Wouldn't Give My Troubles To A Monkey On A Rock.