I Had No Idea This Thing Was

Yesterday, The Senate Voted To Approve President Clinton's Decision To Send Troops To Bosnia. And They Voted To Change The Name Of That Mission To "operation Forget About Whitewater".

Presidential Hopeful Jeb Bush Has Released All Of His Emails. I'd Like To Release All Of My Emails. I've Got Nothing But Emails About Low-cost Funerals And Viagra.

Barack Obama Said He May Negotiate With The Taliban. A Lot Of People Are Saying Okay, But Be Careful. But I Said This Guy Has Experience Negotiating With The Enemy. For Gosh Sake, He Lives With His Mother-in-law, You Know.

Due To Budget Crunches, Bush Has Had To Scale Some Of The Programs. He Has A New Program, 'leave A Couple Of Kids Behind.'

Congratulations To Chelsea Clinton. Over The Weekend, She Gave Birth To A Baby Girl. The Baby Girl Will Not Confirm Or Deny Whether She's Running In 2056.