If Computers Take Over, It Will Serve

I Have An Insane Desire To Shave A Stroke Or Two Off My Handicap.

All Presidents Start Out To Run A Crusade But After A Couple Of Years They Find They Are Running Something Less Heroic And Much More Intractable: Namely The Presidency. The People Are Well Cured By Then Of Election Fever, During Which They Think They Are Choosing Moses. In The Third Year, They Look On The Man As A Sinner And A Bumble And Begin To Poke Around For Rumors Of Another Messiah.

When That Happens [the Demise Of Golf], Old Men Will Furtively Beckon To Their Sons And, Like Fugitives From The Guillotine Recalling The Elegant Orgies At The Court Of Louis Xv, Will Recite The Glories Of Portmarnock And Merion, Of The Road Hole At St. Andrews, The Sixth At Seminole, The Eighteenth At Pebble Beach. They Will Take Out This Volume From Its Secret Hiding Place And They Will Say: "there Is No Question, Son, That These Were Unholy Places In An Evil Age. Unfortunately, I Had A Whale Of A Time."

People In America, When Listening To Radio, Like To Lean Forward. People In Britain Like To Lean Back.

Sir Guy Campbell's Classic Account Of The Formation Of The Links, Beginning With Genesis And Moving Step By Step To The Thrilling Arrival Of 'tilth' On The Fingers Of Coastal Land, Suggests That Such Notable Features Of Our Planet As Dinosaurs, The Prairies, The Himalayas, The Seagull, The Female Of The Species Herself, Were Accidental By-products Of The Almighty's Preoccupation With The Creation Of The Old Course At St. Andrews.