If Bill Gates Is Worth $30 Billion

[the Internet] ... Is An Amazing Communications Tool That's Bringing The Whole World Together. I Mean, You Sit Down To Sign On To America Online In Your Hometown, And It's Just Staggering To Think That At The Same Moment, Halfway Around The World, In China, Someone You've Never Met Is Sitting At Their Computer, Hearing The Exact Same Busy Signal That You're Hearing.

American's Could Be Any More Self Absorbed If They Were Made Of Equal Parts Water And Paper Towel.

In View Of All The Deadly Computer Viruses That Have Been Spreading Lately, Weekend Update Would Like To Remind You: When You Link Up To Another Computer, You're Linking Up To Every Computer That That Computer Has Ever Linked Up To.

Warner Had More Hands In His Face Than An Ob-gyn Delivering Vishnu's Triplets!

You've Got Bad Eating Habits If You Use A Grocery Cart In 7-eleven.