I'd Rather Entertain People Than Offend Them.

Well, Life Was Tough, But At Least I Was Able To Live It Out And I Was Able To Face Death And Not Be Afraid.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"

It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.

Jesus Had A Tough Life. I Read About That Guy. Jesus Is The Only Guy That Ever Came Back From The Dead That Didn't Scare The F- Out Of Everybody!