I'd Never Hurt Another Person.

I Get Depressed At Airports.

I Used To Be A Democrat, Now I'm Basically A Republican.

Of Course On Air I Use Occasional Hyperbole To Tell A Story.

I Swear My Car Won't Run Unless I'm Picking My Nose: At Least, I'm That Superstitious About It, So I Don't Want To Take Any Chances.

When I'm In Power, Here's How I'm Gonna Put The Country Back On Its Feet. I'm Going To Put Sterilizing Agents In The Following Products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, And Thick-crust Pizza. Only The 'tardiest Of The 'tards Like The Thick Crust.