I Used To Be A Democrat, Now

I Don't Like Soccer. I Think It Makes You Soft. And By The Way, You Telling Me It's The Biggest Whatever In The World, Look, They Drink Tea Everywhere Too; They're Pussies, You Understand? I Want Some Coffee.

Lets Not Focus On Saving A Nickel... Lets Focus On Making A Buck.

This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us. And It's Not The Glitter And It's Not The Pomp And Circumstance. We've Got Black And White, We've Got Hispanic And Asian, We Got Gay, Straight, And Guttenberg, All Working Together For One Common Goal: To Get The Mirror Ball. And The Mirror Ball Doesn't Care What Color You Are, And It Doesn't Care How Rich Your Parents Are, And It Doesn't Care What God You Pray To. It's An Even Wooden Floor, And May The Best Man Or Woman Win. And I Say God Bless Dancing With The Stars, And God Bless The Usa.

The Reason I Hate Publicists Is Because I Think If We Got Rid Of Them Everything Would Be On Equal Footing.

Chicks Named Tammy Have A Greater Chance Of Actually Driving A Mercedes Than A Chick Named Mercedes.