I Get Depressed At Airports.

When You Have Kids, You Instantly Feel That You Do Not Want To Do Them Wrong. Those Dads That Go Off To Florida And Start A New Life, I Couldn’t Imagine That: Seeing My Kid Once Every Christmas, Every Three Years. If I’m Gone For Six Days It Feels Like Too Much.

There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well, I Take That Back. I'm A Cancer Screening Away From Going Agnostic And A Biopsy Away From Full-fledged Christian.

I Used To Be A Democrat, Now I'm Basically A Republican.

You Should Feel Good About Yourself Because Of Your Accomplishments. Not Because Somebody Yelled At You To Feel Good About Yourself.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.