I'd Just Like To Know What A

Beating Newt Gingrich In A Popularity Contest Is Like Beating Stephen Hawking In 'dancing With The Stars.'

North Korea Has The Same Ability To Launch A Nuclear Strike Against America As I Do. It's Like Walking Through A Parking Lot And Getting Barked At By A Chihuahua Locked In A Car.

New Rule: Tulips Aren't Flowers. They're Some Kind Of Gay Onion.

'the Lorax,'...it's A Mythical, Woodland Creature, Right, Who's For Saving Trees. He Speaks For The Trees Because No One Else Can. Kind Of The Way Conservatives Speak For Fetuses.

Why Can't God Just Defeat The Devil And Get Rid Of Evil? It's The Same Reason The Comic Book Character Can't Get Rid Of His Nemesis; Then There's No Story.