I Write At High Speed Because Boredom

Any Part Of The Piggy Is Quite All Right With Me Ham From Westphalia, Ham From Parma Ham As Lean As The Dalai Lama Ham From Virginia, Ham From York, Trotters Sausages, Hot Roast Pork. Crackling Crisp For My Teeth To Grind On Bacon With Or Without The Rind On Though Humanitarian I'm Not A Vegetarian. I'm Neither Crank Nor Prude Nor Prig And Though It May Sound Infra Dig Any Part Of The Darling Pig Is Perfectly Fine With Me.

Squash - That's Not Exercise, It's Flagellation.

I Have A Memory Like An Elephant. In Fact, Elephants Often Consult Me.

What I Adore Is Supreme Professionalism. I’m Bored By Writers Who Can Write Only When It’s Raining.

Someday I Suspect, When Jesus Has Definitely Got Me For A Sunbeam, My Works May Be Adequately Assessed.