I Write All The Time - I

The Thing That Drives Me Crazy Is When Comics Say 'i Have Low Self-esteem.' No You Don't. You're Standing On Stage Asking People To Pay. You Don't Play An Instrument. You Want People To Pay To Hear What's In Your Mind. You Don't Have Low Self-esteem. You Might Have Other Problems.

I'm Just Another Guy Who Thinks He's Smarter Than He Is, In A Long Line Of Them.

I Think Everyone Should Own Six Guns, Even Though I Don't Own Any.

I Feel Most Empires Fell When They Started To Act Human, But Then Look At Russia. They Kept A Pretty Strong Hand, And They Fell From Afghanistan Alone Because Afghanistan Is The Graveyard Of Empires. I Guess You Just Can't Sustain It.

Marie Antoinette Was Funny, I'm Sure She Was Just Misinterpreted. You Know The 'let Them Eat Cake' Line. She Seems Like She Was Kind Of Funny, Like A Chelsea Handler Or Kathy Griffin Type.