The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On

What I Love About Comedians Is Their Instinct Is Always To Go Against The Grain. Their Whole Existence Is Pointing Out The Elephant In The Room. Already You Can See Audiences Are Pushing Back, But We're The Ones Who Really Can Take It More Than Anybody.

The Thing That Drives Me Crazy Is When Comics Say 'i Have Low Self-esteem.' No You Don't. You're Standing On Stage Asking People To Pay. You Don't Play An Instrument. You Want People To Pay To Hear What's In Your Mind. You Don't Have Low Self-esteem. You Might Have Other Problems.

I'm Not A Big Method Actor. I'm Much More Superficial.

I Don't Know Any Comedian Who Tailors His Act To His Audience. Maybe People Say They Do, But I Can't Even Imagine Them.

People's - Most People's Job Is Talking About The Future Or Like Money Not Even In The Present Tense. It's Not Even Paper.