I Would Read Playboy More Often, But

I'm Very Pleased To Be Here. Let's Face It, At My Age I'm Very Pleased To Be Anywhere.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

Love Is A Lot Like A Backache. It Doesn't Show Up On X-rays, But You Know It's There.

Just Because You're Old That Doesn't Mean You're More Forgetful. The Same People Whose Names I Can't Remember Now I Couldn't Remember Fifty Years Ago. . .

I Don't Have A Drinking Problem. I Drink. I Get Drunk. I Fall Down, No Problem.