I Wish I Were Dumber So I

I Believe Everybody In The World Should Have Guns. Citizens Should Have Bazookas And Rocket Launchers Too. I Believe That All Citizens Should Have Their Weapons Of Choice. However, I Also Believe That Only I Should Have The Ammunition. Because Frankly, I Wouldn't Trust The Rest Of The Goobers With Anything More Dangerous Than String.

Highly Intelligent And Well-informed People Disagree On Every Political Issue. Therefore, Intelligence And Knowledge Are Useless For Making Decisions, Because If Any Of That Stuff Helped, Then All The Smart People Would Have The Same Opinions. So Use Your "gut Instinct" To Make Voting Choices. That Is Exactly Like Being Clueless, But With The Added Advantage That You'll Feel As If Your Random Vote Preserved Democracy.

You Probably Think Stephen Hawking Is In That Wheelchair Because Of A Motor Neuron Disease. But If You Got As Much Barely-legal Student Poontang As The Hawkster, You'd Be In A Wheelchair Too.

Remind People That Profit Is The Difference Between Revenue And Expense. This Makes You Look Smart.

I Respectfully Decline The Invitation To Join Your Hallucination.