I Wish I Could Play Little League

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."

If You Boat A Lot, You're Known As A Boating Enthusiast. I Like To Boat, But I Just Don't Want To Ever Be Referred To As A 'boating Enthusiast'. I Hope They Call Me 'a Guy Who Likes To Boat'.

I Was At A Restaurant, And I Ordered A Chicken Sandwich, But I Don't Think The Waitress Understood Me. She Asked Me, "how Would You Like Your Eggs?" I Thought I Would Answer Her Anyway And Said, "incubated! And Then Raised, Plucked, Beheaded, Cut Up, Put Onto A Grill, And Then Put Onto A Bun. Damn! I Don't Have That Much Time! Scrambled!"

They Could Take Sesame Seeds Off The Market And I Wouldn't Even Care. I Can't Imagine 5 Years From Now Saying, "remember Sesame Seeds? What Happened? All The Buns Are Blank!"

Every Mcdonald's Commercial Ends The Same Way: Prices And Participation May Vary. I Wanna Open A Mcdonald's And Not Participate In Anything. I Wanna Be A Stubborn Mcdonald's Owner. "cheeseburgers?" "nope! We Got Spaghetti, And Blankets."