I Went To Look For A Used

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Once A Guy Pulled A Knife On Me. I Knew He Wasn't A Professional, The Knife Had Butter On It.

Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My Wife Won't Let Me Toke At Home.

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Kisses The Dog On The Lips, Yet She Won't Drink From My Glass.

Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It.

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.