I Get No Respect... I Tell You,

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

My Cousins Gay, He Went To London Only To Find Out That Big Ben Was A Clock.

I Tell Ya, I Know The Best Way To Get Girls. I Hang Out At Women's Prisons, And Wait For Parolees.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.