I Went Into A Butchers And I

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

And The Back Of His Anorak Was Leaping Up And Down, And People Were Chucking Money To Him. I Said 'do You Earn A Living Doing That?' He Said 'yes, This My Livelihood.'

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.