I Was 15 Years Old When I

Osama Bin Laden's Death Has Been In The News All Day. Leftish Stations Are Going, 'president Obama Saves The World.' Stations On The Right Are Going, 'obama Kills Fellow Muslim.'

I've Been Running My Whole Life. Running Into Bars, Running Around The World. But When You Have A Child, You Can't Run. That Was A Revelation.

Be Careful Who You Choose As Your Hero Or Who You Choose To Deify, Be It Clay Aiken Or Barack Obama. You Put All You're Hope And All Your Dreams And All Your Ideas About Stuff Into One Human Being. They're A Human Being They're Going To Let You Down. You Can't Make Someone Your Hero Because Of Something You Read On The Internet. The Internet Is Not A Source Of Information It Is A Source Of Disinformation.

It's A Great Day For America, Everybody! It's Monday, Woo.

Self Help Books Are Pointless. Here's Something For You... Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, And Self Help Books Are From Uranus.