I Was Walking Home One Night And

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

You Should Get Married. When I Was Younger, I Was Into The Fame And Fortune, And Now I Realize That A Loving Wife And Happy Children - That's Life's Greatest Consolation Prize.

Because We Allow Handguns. When You Know Someone In The Crowd Might Be Packing A Rod, It Can't Help But Rush Your Timing.

One Man's Pet-stained Carpet Is Another Man's Twister Game.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.